to bed

i just put ben to bed for the second time tonight and find myself strategizing, as i always do, about how to better arrange his schedule for the maximum happiness of the household. i should say his alleged schedule, since every day is different, and just as soon as i spot a pattern, it disappears. yep, with ol' benny, you never step in the same river twice. he's his own man.

one thing i'll say about being a parent. i have never had to be so creative, so flexible, so intuitive, so quick to anticipate, to adaptable, so thorough. to anyone who thinks having a child
limits you, i say it's just the opposite. nothing expands you more. it's the closest i've ever come to feeling the satisfaction that a really skilled athlete must feel when playing her sport.

so now he's tucked in. when i put him in his bed for the night, he shuffles around like a little puppy, gives a couple of hard kicks (he kicks both legs together in one big "whump,") and gets his hands up to his mouth. it's so cute to watch. then i tip-toe out.